Skip to main content

Are women NOT worth being called by their individual names in Japan?

After I came to Canada, I was quietly surprised that people call each other by their individual names. Maybe you don't understand what I am talking about, or you might think I am insane saying like that. But, please don’t close this page, yet. I am pretty serious.

I read a somebody’s tweet, the other day.



He said,

...there are many places where you are called by your title (of your job) rather than your name. I think it is a kind of insult, feel like that I am not treated as a human. Is that only me?



This is my retweet, saying about women in Japan who are also not often called by their names.


It is true that people often call the others by job titles or the relationship to themselves.  For example:

“看護師さん(Mr/Ms. Nurse)” to somebody working in hospitals,
”運転手さん(Mr/Ms. Driver)” in a taxi,
”奥さん(A wife)”,
”○○のママ(somebody's mum)”...

Possibly you may say ‘Mr/Ms. Nurse’ or ‘Mr/Ms. Driver’ in your country, too.

”奥さん(A wife)” is not even “somebody’s wife” or “Mrs. somebody”. It means ‘a wife’, if I literally translate it. ”○○のママ(somebody's mum)” is often used among the mothers in the same school, I suppose. People remember the other kids’ names in the class, but don’t remember their mothers’ names.

I guess, I should explain a little more.

Imagine, my child and your child are going to the same school, we have met some times, so we know each other. One day you and I meet in the school when both are picking up the kids, you could say, “Hi, X’s mum! How are you?” I may response, “Hey, I am alright. How are you, Y’s mum?” ….Why don’t we say just ‘Hana” and your name?

It does sound weird to me, how about to you?


Although they use the word “先生(sensei, meaning a doctor, teacher, master or guru)” with respect, towards their teachers, lawyers, medical doctors or politicians, still I cannot stop wondering if Japanese people are just too lazy to remember other people’s names.


I grew up in that society, for me here is another world where I need to memorize everybody’s names. I am not going to say which is good or bad. However, I can say that women in Japan are treated more anonymous.

Now, if I have to choose which society to live in, I would say, I'd prefer to be always called “Hana” by my name, rather than “X’s mum” or “A wife”.


Comments

You May Also Like:

Why did I start writing on "Medium"

A couple of months ago, I started writing in English which is my second language. I posted some blog articles on this platform "Blogger" which is one of my favourite blogging services. But I started writing on "Medium" two weeks ago.

Now I just want to write down why I started writing there, not here, and also where I am going to write in the future.

What does "Kawaii" mean? Why do people love "Kawaii" things?

"Kawaii" is one of the most commonly used Japanese words. When you hear conversations of Japanese people, you must spot it more than once.

"Kawaii" originally means "cute", supposed to be used when they are describing something small or little, such as a baby, a small animal, etc. However, it is more than that now.

Where I came from and Where I am going

I was a child who spent lots of time daydreaming. My parent’s house was built in the middle of rice fields. It was a little far from the main town in a rural area in Japan. Because I didn’t have any friends living nearby, I was always alone in the garden where the strong aroma of gardenias made me feel dizzy.